Tuesday, November 29, 2011

#NHLMeanGirls

Another hilarious hashtag was created, this time by @QueenCrash: #NHLMeanGirls

@
QueenCrash: "Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by Matt Cooke." #NHLMeanGirls

@
Shlee18: "You know who's looking fine tonight? Patrick Sharp." -But he's your cousin. "Hey Sharpy!" #NHLMeanGirls

@
CrosbysStache: "How do you spell your last name again Toes?" "It's Taves. T-O-E-W-S" "Yeah, I'm gonna call you Toes" #NHLMeanGirls

@
CrosbysStache: "Nice hair, Letang. What's it made of?" "YOUR MOM'S CHEST HAIR" #NHLMeanGirls

@
Yotesgurl: Cooke: Half the people in this room are mad at me & the others only like me cuz they think I pushed someone in front of a bus. #NHLMeanGirls

@
hawknut: "Sorry Mr. Byfuglien, we only carry sizes 1, 3, & 5. You could try Sears...? #NHLMeanGirls

@
QueenCrash: "HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE." -Everyone to Jagr in the beginning of the season. #NHLMeanGirls

@
RunsOnDuncan: "OH HELL NAW! I did not leave the OHL for this!" - Dale Hunter, one week into his tenure as the Caps' new coach. #NHLMeanGirls

@
Schmallie: And on the 3rd day, God created the hockey stick, so man could beat the dinosaurs-and the Vancouver Canucks. #NHLMeanGirls

@
emlee05: Toews:God. My hips are huge! Keith:Oh please.I hate my calves. Seabrook: My hair line is so weird.Stalberg: My nail beds suck. #NHLMeanGirls

This is just a very small chunk of all the hilarious tweets. To read more of this awesome hashtag click here: #NHLMeanGirls

My contribution to the hashtag:

Barry Trotz: "Hey, get out of here." Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work! #NHLMeanGirls

Daniel Sedin made out with Coach Vigneault! And so did Henrik Sedin! Daniel: "You little slut!" Henrik: "You're the slut!" #NHLMeanGirl

Seabrook on Keith: "I gave him everything... I was half a virgin when I met him!" #NHLMeanGirls

#StalbergPorn

A couple of games ago, Stalberg missed a shot. A new hashtag was born #StalbergPorn.

@
KellyPuckDrunk: "You need your pipes cleaned? My brother in law is a plumber, want his number?" #StalbergPorn

@
hockeenight: "You're lonely because your husband's out of town? You can use my miles for a plane ticket." #StalbergPorn

@
AndrewCieslak: "Yes, it is hot in here but I thought you asked me to stay after class for math help." #StalbergPorn

@
hawknut: Well I know you need the A, I guess you better start studying. #StalbergPorn

@
GeekMisconduct: Yeah, my meat's really juicy. I let it rest for a half hour after I took it out of the oven #StalbergPorn

@
AndrewCieslak: "I agree, you HAVE been a bad girl. However, the law will decide your punishment for I am just a man." #StalbergPorn

@
Catch10110: "Here's the pizza you ordered. Ma'am, you shouldn't answer the door in just a towel, there's a lot of creeps out there." #StalbergPorn

@
ChiNativeSon: Yes m'am, I am indeed a hockey player. Have I ever played with a woody? No, m'am. I use a composite. #StalbergPorn

@
hockeenight: "Bukkake? I think he's in the KHL" #StalbergPorn

Read more tweets at the hashtag
#StalbergPorn

Monday, November 28, 2011

Update: Thanksgiving Leftovers


Apparently, the Blackhawks prefer duck over turkey. They had a 6-5 Black Friday win against the Ducks. We had our first holiday miracle of the season: Seabrook was seen on the TV in skates, while in a uniform, on the ice. He's baaaccckkk!

Things Bobby Ryan has said and done that annoy me: 1. He doesn't like baseball 2. He gave Breaking Dawn a bad movie review 3. He scored the first goal against the Hawks. The Ducks didn't stop there, they quacked twice within a minute for a 2-0 lead.

Sharpy plucked the first feather off the duck 2-1, and it certainly wasn't his last. Selanne scored for the Ducks on the power play and the camera immediately cut to a Hawks fan shaking his head. That was the appropriate reaction. It was all Bolly bitch on the power play 3-2.

I missed some of the game. I was asked to go on a werewolf hunt with my nephew/niece. Who would go on a bear hunt when you can go on a werewolf hunt? Anyway, I came back to find out wolverine (Toews) scored. How appropriate. Oh, and Sharp was a very handsome man with the puck for a second time.

Sharp had plucked and plucked all game long, then he finally killed the turkey and served it on a platter with a hat trick! That hat trick was provided by a very handsome man. Invisible hats were flying all over the place! (One day I will not refer to Sharp's looks in a recap, but today will not be that day)


The Blackhawks won 6-5, now it's time for you to head over to Runs On Duncan to read her recap made of GIFs here.

"Really honey, it's not all about you." Foley opened the Saturday's game with those words on the Kings' national anthem singer. Pat Foley started trending worldwide soon after, which made me a happy human. Brunette gave the Hawks a 1-0 lead. Sorry, I'm out of hair color jokes. If you could even call them jokes to begin with.

The Hawks needed to keep the turnovers on the Thanksgiving dessert table and off the ice. The Kings tied the game on turnovers by Seabrook and Keith. Toews contiuned his hot streak with another goal 2-1. He's on fire and it's not just that red streak on his forehead, which made an appearance during intermission. WGN had some hiccups, which eventually turned into throw up. The third was basically just a series of flashes of the game. I'm not exactly sure what happened, thanks to WGN.

"Really WGN, it's not all about you."

The Hawks won 2-1 over the Kings! But, in the end, it was really a win for all of us because we didn't have to watch WGN anymore.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

In Honor of Thanksgiving: The Best/Worst Chef

An oldie but a goodie

Happy Thanksgiving!

Let's make this a quick one. There's food to be eaten and Blackhawks losses to be forgotten. The Hawks lost 1-0 to the Sharks. Niemi was the ex-family member (divorce), who still showed up to Thanksgiving and ate all the food. It was his first shutout of the season. Now go eat a turkey and pretend it's a Shark. Go stuff your Blackhawks sadness with stuffing. And if you survive Black Friday, tune into the Blackhawks vs Ducks at 3 p.m.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

New Blackhawks TV Videos:

BHTV On The Road

Blackhawks Support Movember

Till They Collapse

Around the UC:


-Seabrook: "I'm feeling good. It's tough to sit out anytime. I hate it. I'm probably the worst. The trainers all probably want to kill me. They're working to get me back on the ice, so they can stop dealing with me, I think. It's tough to sit out and tough to watch your team play and feel like you can be out there and kind of help out."
ChicagoSun-Times:
Seabrook, Frolik take part in Blackhawks practice

-Kane: “He’s done so many great things for the sport, and he’s been one of the most dominant players this century. He’s fun to watch. He’s a guy that players like myself and other younger players can learn from, and he’s great for the league.”
ESPNChicago:
Hawks also in awe of Crosby's return

-Seabrook: “I’m feeling good. I think it’s progressed every day. You never really fear the worst on things like that unless your arm’s sticking out of the skin or something like that. I thought it was just a stinger, charley-horse type of thing.”
CSNChicago:
Hawks' Seabrook eager to return

-Kane: "Time is flying by. I can remember when I came into the league, it feels like yesterday. I was 18 and turning 19 in the month of November and now I'm turning 23. A lot of good things have happened in my career so far. I'm excited about where the rest will lead."
ChicagoTribune:
Turning 23, Kane growing up

-Stalberg: “Guys were really upset about that loss and the way we lost. We went into Vegas knowing that and I don’t think it was as crazy as it could have been so guys respected that loss and respect that we want to get back to work and get points on this road trip.”
ESPNChicago:
Vegas trip proved to be good distraction

-PuckDaddy:
Video: Jonathan Toews breaks targets across the ice in viral clip

-DailyHerald:
Blackhawks in flux a quarter into season

-Niemi: “Yeah, for sure, playing with them with the one big year and with lots of guys I know. Obviously, it’s a little bit bigger challenge than the other teams.”
CSNBayArea:
Sharks-Hawks still special for Niemi

Update:

Friday: Blackhawks 2, Flames 5
-ChicagoTribune: Flames douse Hawks 5-2

Saturday: Blackhawks 2, Oilers 9
-ChicagoSun-Times: Blackhawks drilled by Oilers
-BlackhawksDownLow: We're not in Saskatoon anymore

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Explosion of awesomeness (as well as Crawsomeness)


1st:
Blackhawks vs Canucks games are always exciting. The 1st period of tonight's game was no different. It was fast paced and full of good chances from both teams. It was all about the Corey and the other Cory. It was a battle of goalies. Crawsome moments were happening all over the place. Bolland was back and it didn't take long for him to be reunited with Bickell and Frolik. We also learned the new term "feathered it to Stalberg." Seems everyone has their own meaning. I have a feeling a lot of fan girls wouldn't mind feathering Stalberg.

2nd:
Hansen scored about 30 seconds into the 2nd for the Canucks. Kesler tripped Stalberg for the first penalty of the game. Everyone prefers Brunettes! Brunette scored on the Hawks power play and gave me another opportunity to make a bad joke about hair color. His goal was assisted by a pass from Kruger and Montador. Keith forgot to shoot the puck, which caused about 20 tweets right after one another on my timeline of "SHOOT THE PUCK." Burrows went to the box for pulling ha...I mean slashing. Another power play goal for the Hawks! Toews (or Kane) scored just seconds into the pp 2-1. Keith saved goal (once again) on a 2 on 1. He was just showing off, since he knew Seabrook was watching closely. Stalberg had a little trouble at the end of the period or as Foley said he didn't know they were playing hockey. Coach Q ripped him a new one, there was no feathering involved this time.

3rd:
Bolland had an interesting high stick to the ear. Huge save by Crawford. Big. Huge! Now just imagine Crawford saying that as a hooker to a bitchy woman at a high end store in Beverly Hills. That's going to be awkward if you didn't catch the movie reference. Hossa got feisty with Hansen. Watch out for the wrath of God. Frolik was down for a bit, after going awkwardly into the boards. One of the Sedin bitches gave Crawford a stick to the groin. It was clearly on purpose. I'm sorry for the language, but fuck you. Seriously, screw you. Not necessary. God (Hossa) helped Wolverine (Toews) score a goal. Now that would be an interesting comic book. Sharp thought the game could use some handsome. It was starting to get ugly with all that Sedin out on the ice. I think the Canucks were trying to tell the Hawks something when they played "Fuck You" by CeeLo Green, after the Hawks fourth goal. Montador ended the game with goal in honor of Vigneault. You know how much he loves when the Blackhawks run up the score. Sorry the Blackhawks can't contain their awesomeness.

The Hawks will try to put out the Flames on Friday!

Game Photos:

John Scott is big.

I spy a puck in a goal.

Happy.


Bolland's attempt at Toews Face. Awkward.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Around the UC:

-Coach Q on Bolland: “It’s encouraging we saw him out there and there’s a chance he can play. Hopefully we can get him back. We use him in so many different ways.”
CSNChicago:
Bolland could play vs. Canucks, Seabrook unlikely

-Toews: "You can't dwell on the past and what happened last year. We're not thinking of the road trip as a whole. If you look too far ahead it might feel like too much work. We'll have some fun and the boys will enjoy it. We played well in our own building before going on the road, so we'll use that confidence and play a simple game when we get out there."
ChicagoTribune:
Blackhawks brace for 6-game road swing

-Redeye:
Blackhawks and their Movember mustaches (poor Kane)

-Toews: “It’s great for everyone’s confidence. It’s great for our team’s confidence to see different guys score. I don’t think it matters to anybody who scores goals on any given night as long as we find a way."
DailyHerald:
Offense, defense work together to boost Hawks' confidence

-McDonough on Coach Q: "A good leader is a good leader. Joel possesses a number of skills that translate to the business side. He's incredibly well-prepared. He's very, very passionate. He handles crisis very well. He empowers people and relies heavily on his assistant coaches. There's a high level of intensity."
ChicagoTribune:
Coaching, adapting as much in play for businesses as sports teams

-Toews on Montador: “He does a great job of boxing guys out on the penalty kill in front of our net, so he’s a workhouse. He’s good at getting himself open when he’s on offense.”
ChicagoSun-Times:
Steve Montador a slot machine for Blackhawks

-ESPNChicago:
Streaking-Slumping: Toews finding net

-ChicagoTribune:
Hawks developing ties to Native Americans

-NHL.com:
Museum of Science and Industry - 2011 Holiday Sweepstakes

A Win And A Loss

The Blackhawks beat the Oilers 6-3 on Sunday, but they lost Seabrook to an injury. We're past the crying, now we're onto the waiting. He's day-to-day with a lower body injury. He went on the trip with the team, but probably won't play vs the Canucks tomorrow.

Toews gave the Hawk 1-0 lead in the first, then about 30 seconds later Montador scored. He also saved a goal just seconds before. Can't forget to mention his impressive celebration from down on the ice and then up. Montador had a busy first period. He saved a goal and scored a goal, then he was hit behind the net. After limping to the bench, he came back out and scored again.

We were greeted by the new Chevy commercial with Toews and Kane during intermission. The playing hockey with cars commercial was more realistic than the pinball machine graphics used in the new one. There's no better way to sell cars than hockey players playing in a giant pinball machine.

Toews furthered the Hawks lead 4-1 to begin the second. Seabrook's injury was foreshadowed when he took a stick to the face. Then Seabrook slammed into the boards awkwardly (watch the painful video here). He left the game and never came back. Keith got the Hawks fifth goal in honor of Seabrook. Duncs scoring after Seabrook left. Coincidence? I think not.

Kane wrapped up the puck, added a big red bow and passed it over to Carcillo. His empty netter gave the Hawks their 6-3 win.

Stars of the game: 1. Montador 2. Toews 3. Leddy

Next up is the Circus Trip also known as the Super Mario Kart trip.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

VOTE!


Seabrook, Keith, Toews, Sharp, Hossa, and Kane made the All-Star ballot!
You can start voting for them tomorrow at 12 a.m. here.

The Odd Couple: Blackhawks 4, Flames 1


Keith scored his first goal of the season. Seabrook scored his first goal of the season.
I knew 11/11/11 was going to be magical.
Congrats to Keith on his 500th game.
And Congrats to Seabrook for just being Seabrook.

"We are brothers."

Garage Door Commercial with Bolland and Crawford

(BHTV)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

My Nephew's Preschool Homework:

A+

Hawks vs Blues in 140 Characters or Less:

I wasn't able to watch tonight's game, due to work. So I turned to my Twitter followers and challenged them to recap the game in 140 or less. Judging from their tweets, sounds like it's a good thing I missed it.

Here's what they had to say...

@TheKitchenette fail. fail. more fail. clownshoes. shutout. fail.

@RunsOnDuncan Q decided to tweak things in this game with a sledgehammer. Also, Scott was in for whatever reason. Result: 3-0 Blues.

@The_FFF How's this: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUetc

@Keribo1 Suckage. #enoughsaid

@FiveHoleLuck Easy... Worse effort than witnessed in the Canucks game. No bright spots at all. #blackhawks

@DaChicagoFan I don't need 140. Just think about the Carolina game and that is all you really need to know. It wasn't pretty

@luckynumber19 uhh...the hawks choked and couldn't even score and they lost. #again #imstillbitter

@motwins8391 This game is not worthy of 140 characters. Eight will suffice: womp womp.

@Bowman1 not a lot of good hockey played by the hawks tonight.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Weekend Recap:

Friday: Blackhawks 4 Lightning 5
The Hawks and Lightning played a game of back and forth. They scored, we scored, they scored, we scored. Looks like Hossa found his baby Jesus, Kane. They continued their magic. Carcillo also created some magic on his backhand shot to give the Hawks a 3-2 lead. Sharp was a very handsome man, but you can add a second 'very' to that handsome. He scored twice. The dads were in the crowd for the Father's Trip. I hope at least one dad yelled "THAT'S MY SON" after the goals. I don't know if you heard this or not, but Stamkos is good at hockey. He proved it with a hat trick. Apparently, the Hawks didn't know he was good. They just let him walk right up to the goal. The game ended with a Lightning strike in overtime.

Sunday: Blackhawks 2 Canucks 6
Bolland before Sunday's game: "Something will happen."
Something did happen:
The Hawks pooped their pants big time and made a mess all over the ice. They look to clean up their pants in time to take on the Blues tomorrow night at 7 on CSN.

Friday, November 4, 2011

"Let's Get Down To Business"


To defeat the Panthers!

Stalberg's tweet before last night's game:

"@VStalberg Game vs the panthers tonight should be a good one with all the dads in the house. Been a great trip so far now let's get down
to business"

Thank you, Stalberg. Mulan's "I'll Make a Man Out of You" was stuck in my head the rest of the day. The Hawks got down to business and defeated the Panthers in a shootout 3-2.

The Blackhawks showed their dads they're men now ("Be A Man!") unlike the last dad's trip. The Hawks took a 2-0 lead with goals from Toews and Hossa. Kane had a great pass to Hossa on the second goal, while Kopecky was seen weeping in the background. Kane had a goal of his own. He won it in the shootout.

Crawford was the real hero of the game. He was also given the belt, which is pretty fancy this season.
(Photo Source: @NHLBlackhawks)


Quick hits:
-Keith missed the game with his day-to-day hand injury.
-A lot of familiar faces on the Panthers. However, there was some unfamiliar hair. What's going on with all that stuff on Versteeg's head?
-The Blackhawks play again tonight vs the Lightning at 6:30 p.m. on CSN! LET'S GO HAWKS!

Father's Trip

Cue the awwwwwww... The moms had their turn last year, now it's all about the dads! What do you get when you add warm weather and men together? Golf. The Hawks took their dads golfing, during their trip to Florida. Of course, BHTV was there!

Stalberg and Hammer with their dads:

Crawford and Emery with their dads:

Kane and Sharp with their dads:

The Foleys, Eddie O Sr. and Troy Murray:

The Sights and Sounds:

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

New Commercial: Kane Shares His Moves With Peggy Over The Phone


I hate to say this, but Tim Thomas' commercial might beat Kaner's:

Hawk-lloween

It was Halloween night at the United Center last night. Here are a few sights and frights from Blackhawks vs Predators:

-Seabrook was seen blocking a shot, which could have been a game changer. He distracted a Predator by stealing all of his candy. I imagine he whispered "Happy Halloween Bitch" in the ear of the Predator as he was left down on the ice.

-Overtime came and it felt like I was watching a Halloween movie through my fingers waiting for the scary part to happen. I also came to the realization that Overtime is like the cat jumping out part in the scary movie. You think it's going to be scary and it ends up being just the cat, then the actually scary part comes after that. The shootout. Luckily, we didn't have to get to the scary part, because...STALBERG!!!!!!!!!!!!

-The Hawks destroyed the Predators' mailbox with a baseball bat, then smashed their pumpkins, and Stalberg lit a bag full of dog shit on fire at their doorstep. Happy Halloween from the Blackhawks!

-First star was Kane. He was seen trick or treating at the Predators' goal twice. Can you say "Pa[trick] or Treat?" (That clever little pun was all @QueenCrash)

-Trotz was seen wearing the same costume again this year (photo).

-The terrifying part: Keith left the game. He's day to day with an upper body injury.

-Some fans got into the Halloween spirit at the game. BHTV captured all the "Panda-Monium" on camera:

-Watch Stalberg make it rain candy (or meatballs):