Stalberg scored his first career hat trick last night against the Blue Jackets. Invisible hats are being thrown everywhere. With Stalberg's hat trick, Bolland and Ben Fucking Smith the Blackhawks beat the Blue Jackets 5-2.
With Sharp out for a few weeks, it was time for the guys to step up. Seabrook took the first step by wearing the scarlet letter in honor of Sharpy. WHORE! Who doesn't love a good scarlet letter joke? No one? Okay... moving on. Stalberg now has to be the handsome one and the one to score goals in Sharp's absence. He fulfilled both last night.
There was a scare to start the game. Toews was hit in the head by a Keith slap shot. The replay of the hit didn't look too pretty, but it's Toews we're talking about. He came right back out to play. Toews is either super human like we all expected or God answered our prayers. It's good thing we've got Hossa on the team. Thank God. Thank Hossa.
-Stars of the game: 1. Stalberg 2. Hossa 3. Who cares?
-Douche of the game: Boll
-It's Bolly Bitch
-It's Ben Fucking Smith
It's time to bring this back: HAT TRICK BOOYAH! (2:04)